Being Present Can Be Annoying
Being Present Can Be Annoying
Meditation and Sensory Overload
I’ve been trying to meditate on and off for over twenty years. For one reason or another, meditation has been challenging for all of that time. I’ve tried various styles, including sitting, standing, walking, and guided meditation.
Over the years, I haven’t been consistent with my meditation practice because it tends to amplify unpleasant sensations and emotions I’m already feeling. For example, I recently experienced intense irritation and annoyance while meditating. Still, I recognize those feelings existed before I started. The meditation only magnified them and made me more keenly aware of their presence. At those times, I don’t feel calm and relaxed after my meditation session.
This morning was no different. I finished the 60-minute guided meditation and eventually reached a somewhat relaxed state; however, the aftermath felt anything but relaxing. Everything seemed more intense, as if all my senses had reached maximum volume. Towards the end of my meditation, my two small dogs started demanding attention by bumping into me and pawing at me. Their physical contact felt intense and rough, which I perceived as abrasive and rude.
After meditation, I noticed my senses were much more sensitive and alert. My heightened sensory perception became especially noticeable when I stepped out for a quick errand and felt bombarded by the loud noises of a nearby street construction crew. Before meditating, I would have found these noises loud but tolerable, but now they seemed almost unbearable. Even a nearby dog’s barking felt much more audible than usual as if the world around me had turned into an overwhelming cacophony rather than the harmonious symphony I would have desired. This sensory overload was unexpected. I practice meditation to quiet my analytical mind, encourage receptivity, loosen my ego’s grip, feel calm, and be more present. Today’s experience was anything other than peaceful.
Reflection and Insight
Regular meditation increases my sensitivity to sensory input and raises my awareness of pleasant and unpleasant feelings; in other words, I’ve noticed that meditation enhances all of my senses and emotions. This realization is significant to me. While heightened awareness can be helpful, it often feels overwhelming due to my sensory processing challenges. Essentially, meditation usually makes everything feel more intense, raw, and exposed, which can be bothersome when I’m already dealing with heightened sensitivities, especially today when I woke up tired and didn’t get good quality sleep.
After my meditation today, I struggled, so why should I continue? Despite feeling overwhelmed today, on other occasions, I find value in aligning my mind and heart and reaching a state of coherence. This morning, I didn’t reach coherence; otherwise, I would have felt a more pleasant sensation—not annoyance. However, it still helped me connect with the present moment and observe my emotions more clearly, albeit I was feeling annoyed. Being more aware of these sensations and feelings allows me to take action. At that moment, I now had a choice of how to deal with them instead of living on autopilot.
The sensory overload I experienced tends to improve over time. Luckily, I also learned valuable methods to help myself feel more grounded when overwhelmed. For most of my life, I coped by disconnecting from my body and the present moment, which helped me survive but also kept me from fully engaging in life and relationships. I don’t want that anymore. I’m ready to embrace the present moment more fully, even when it’s uncomfortable or overwhelming because that’s where life happens.
I find myself grappling with this desire and realization, which may be part of my mid-life reflection (crisis) or the recognition that, regardless of what anyone wants to believe, we all have an inevitable expiration date in this physical body. In this physical time and space, ultimately, we will all die one day. I am not getting any younger with each passing moment. I understand that life continues to move forward, and I can either embrace the present or regret that I didn’t. I’ve already done that for way too many years.
As someone over 50, I am finally ready to seize the moment because the stakes are too high to continue living disconnected from myself, my environment, and those closest to me. Moreover, this moment will undoubtedly be brief as I recognize more and more these days how precious each day truly is.
I use meditation to go beyond my conditioned analytical mind, which can fabricate stories, distort memories, and cloud my perception of reality. Regular practice improves my ability to connect with my senses, heart, and mind. It helps me experience the present moment and more profound levels of consciousness without relying on external substances. In other words, I am learning to be more fully alive. These are some of the reasons why I continue to practice meditation, even during times of sensory overload.
So, What Happened Today?
I had a rough night’s sleep, so I was tired, irritable, and annoyed when I woke up this morning. Starting a 60-minute guided meditation practice in that state was not ideal. I realized I would have been better served by doing restorative yoga or nidra practice to help my nervous system relax. Instead, I forced myself to do the meditation, and it only made me feel even more annoyed when my dogs bumped into me. My sensory system was more sensitive than usual because my nervous system was already out of whack. I also learned that I couldn’t achieve coherence while in a stressed state and unable to relax. This experience affirmed the importance of listening to my body and choosing the appropriate daily practice based on my needs. Today, meditation wasn’t the right choice for me.
Practical Strategies to Manage Heightened Sensory Perception
Here are practical recommendations for others experiencing similar sensations during and after meditation:
Controlled Environment:
Silent Space: Ensure the meditation environment is as quiet and controlled as possible. Soft background noise, like white or natural sounds, can sometimes help mask disruptive sounds.
Comfortable Setting: Limit interruptions by family members or pets. Consider meditating at a time when the household is quieter.
Combining Senses:
Weighted Blankets: Using a weighted blanket or other sensory tools during meditation might help ground oneself and mitigate the overwhelming sensory input.
Sensory Deprivation: Experiment with earplugs or a sleep mask to reduce external stimuli.
Post-Meditation Transition:
Gentle Activities: Transition slowly out of meditation with calming activities like light stretching or listening to soft music to help gradually adjust your sensory processing.
Journaling: Writing down immediate post-meditation thoughts can help manage heightened emotions and gain further insights into your experiences.
Gradual Exposure:
Incremental Practice: Shorten meditation sessions initially and slowly increase the duration as you become more adept at managing the sensory overload.
Consistent Practice: Consistency in practice can help your nervous system acclimate to the heightened sensory experiences over time.
Mindfulness Beyond Meditation:
Daily Mindfulness: Incorporating mindfulness into everyday activities can help extend the benefits of meditation into your daily life without overwhelming your senses.
Breathing Exercises: Regular deep breathing exercises can help you stay grounded when sensory input becomes too intense.
Professional Guidance:
Therapist Consultation: Consult with a therapist familiar with sensory processing issues and trauma to develop additional coping strategies tailored to your unique needs.
Meditation Coach: Work with a meditation coach who can provide personalized techniques to manage your heightened awareness effectively.
Takeaways
The heightened sensory perception experienced during meditation can be both a blessing and a curse. Recognizing this pattern is crucial as it allows for developing strategies to manage and mitigate sensory overload better. By considering individual sensory processing differences, a person can tailor their meditations to become a more positive and less overwhelming practice.
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About David Rich Sol:
As a child, I wished to exchange my brain for someone else’s. Growing up, I felt misunderstood and lonely. If only I had received my confirmation of neurodivergence when I was a child, I could have avoided some trauma and emotional pain.
Now, as a late-discovered (and diagnosed) Autistic ADHDer, everything is finally making more sense, and I’m rediscovering and loving myself. I spent many years figuring out “what’s wrong with me,” only to discover nothing was “wrong with me.” I’m just not neurotypical (that is, I’m neurodivergent). Not better, not worse—just different.
My intent with Courage To Love Yourself is to rewrite and share my story and insights and help others better understand and accept themselves. I hope you learn to love and accept yourself to live a healthy, happy, and joy-filled life.
Check out my website: https://couragetoloveyourself.com.