Observations
Lessons from my daily practice
Over the past month, I’ve committed to a daily meditation practice, and it’s been a transformative journey. I’ve noticed a pattern emerging in my sessions, a roadmap to inner stillness that unfolds over about 20 to 25 minutes. At first, my body feels alive with a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) buzzing sensation – not unpleasant, but noticeable. It’s as if I can feel my nervous system humming beneath my skin.
As I focus on my breath and repeat my chosen mantra, I notice a shift around the 15 to 18-minute mark. My muscles start to relax, and that initial buzzing sensation softens. It’s like watching a choppy sea gradually calm, the waves becoming gentler and less frequent.
Then, somewhere between 20 and 25 minutes into my practice, something remarkable happens. The buzzing sensation completely dissipates, leaving me with a profound stillness. My body has become as calm and serene as a glassy lake on a windless day. A mental quiet quickly follows this physical stillness. The chatter in my mind, gradually subsiding, now falls almost entirely silent.
In this space of stillness, I notice a pleasant pulsation in the center of my head, between my eyes. It’s a curious sensation – powerful yet soothing. The sensation intensifies as I continue to sit with this feeling, focusing on my breath and mantra. A deep sense of peace washes over me, and I feel a profound connection to my surroundings as if the boundaries of my body have somehow expanded.
This experience has shown me the importance of dedicating at least 30 minutes to my meditation practice. It takes time for my nervous system to settle, and rushing the process would mean missing out on the most profound benefits of the daily practice.
I’ve also noticed significant differences in my daily life when maintaining a consistent twice-daily meditation routine. On days when I skip my morning session like I did a little more than a week ago while attending a professional conference, I find myself more easily irritated and less focused. It takes more work to stay present and make decisions that align with my needs and desires.
In contrast, I feel more centered and present throughout the day when I start with meditation. I can better tune into my body’s signals and make choices that feel right for me. For instance, on the last day of the conference, I had to decide between attending a Qigong session or staying in my room to pack and prepare for my flight. I realized I needed some quiet alone time by tuning into my body’s sensations.
This increased body awareness has been one of the most profound benefits of my meditation practice. While I still struggle with alexithymia – difficulty identifying and describing emotions – I’m finding it more accessible to distinguish between different bodily sensations and use them as a guide for decision-making.
For example, when faced with conflicting desires, like wanting to simultaneously take a final walk along the bay and the ocean near my hotel in San Diego (but I haven’t yet discovered how to bilocate), I’ve learned to tune into my body’s signals to make the best decision. Does one option make me feel open and expansive, while the other feels constricting? This internal compass has become invaluable in navigating daily choices and reducing anxiety around decision-making. By the way, I decided to spend more time near the ocean and went on the ocean side for a long walk; on my way back, I weaved my way to the bay side to experience the bay as well. So, in the end, I got to have both experiences with a bit more time spent at the ocean (which I adore).
My meditation practice has also helped me better manage overwhelming situations. I could enjoy myself briefly at a recent conference party, which typically was sensory overload for me. I stayed attuned to my needs, engaging in activities that felt good and leaving when I sensed it was time. Knowing I have tools to regulate my nervous system gives me the confidence to step out of my comfort zone, trusting that I can handle any resulting overwhelm.
I was filled with wonder and gratitude as I stood, watching the ocean and reflecting on this journey. Learning to listen to my body and tune into its wisdom has been a transformative experience. It’s not always easy, and I’m still learning, but the benefits have been profound.
Dear reader, what practices help you tune into your body’s wisdom?
How do you navigate the sometimes turbulent waters of your nervous system?
Have you found ways to move beyond the chatter of your mind and the flux of your emotions to connect with something more profound and stable within yourself?
In my experience, while thoughts and emotions can be fleeting and influenced by external factors, our internal felt sense – that deep, heart-centered, bodily knowing – is a more reliable guide. Cultivating this connection has been vital to better self-regulation and overall well-being.
Of course, it’s not an exact science. I still have moments of dysregulation and overwhelm. But now, I can often catch these states earlier before they escalate. I’m learning to take care of myself proactively rather than reactively (for the most part).
This journey of self-discovery and nervous system regulation is ongoing. Every day brings new challenges and opportunities for growth. But with each meditation session, each moment of letting go and tuning in to my body’s wisdom, I feel more equipped to navigate life’s complexities with grace and authenticity.
Reflective Questions to Consider
Take some time to reflect on how my experiences resonate with you. Consider some of the following questions and use them as journal prompts in the coming week.
How do you connect with your bodily sensations and nervous system?
What practices, if any, do you use to regulate your nervous system?
How do you distinguish between your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations?
Have you ever experienced a situation where bodily sensations provided more reliable information than your thoughts or emotions?
How do you typically respond to overwhelming situations? Has this changed over time?
What strategies do you use to care for yourself in potentially overwhelming environments?
How do you determine your limits in social situations, and how do you honor those limits?
Have you ever tried meditation or other mindfulness practices? If so, what was your experience?
How do you feel about practicing a technique even when it’s challenging or doesn’t work now?
In what ways might improved self-regulation and awareness benefit your daily life?
How do you think the regular practice of self-awareness might change your relationship with challenging situations over time?
What does being “in tune” with yourself mean to you, and how might you cultivate that connection?