Just a Face in the Crowd
Overcoming the Fear of Insignificance
It’s understandable to feel like just another face in the crowd in an increasingly crowded and fast-paced world. Reflecting on the fact that the global population has more than doubled1 since I was born, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by feelings of insignificance. However, my journey over the past few years has been about seeking my voice, creating meaning out of chaos, and ensuring it doesn’t fade into obscurity.
Finding our place in the vast mosaic of life can be daunting. With approximately 76.4% of the global population younger than I am2 and being among the older third in the United States, it’s easy to feel like my voice is diminishing in a culture that often prioritizes youth. Instead of surrendering to those feelings, I’ve paused and thoroughly explored my thoughts and emotions, allowing myself to feel what is truly there.
It’s fascinating how this journey has revealed that emotions like insignificance and discouragement are often tied to deeper feelings such as fear. I, too, grapple with insecurities and have moments where I feel rejected or foolish. These feelings usually stem from a fundamental fear of leaving no mark on the world or going through so much only to be forgotten. As a survivor of complex trauma, I’ve often questioned the significance of my life experiences and wondered if, viewed from an existential perspective, my existence truly matters when I’m gone.
Rationally, I recognize my impact on those around me—families, friends, and colleagues. Yet, a more profound yearning for meaning goes beyond the everyday. This desire drives me to create something online through podcasts, blogs, or content that resonates with others. Even though my journey into the digital world has met with modest success, it is my way of striving to leave a legacy beyond familiar circles.
Conversations with my daughter recently sharpened my focus on this desire. Reflecting on an exhibit about Holocaust survivor athletes reminded me of how easily stories can be forgotten if we don’t share them. Like those remarkable athletes who achieved so much yet might fade from memory without public acknowledgment, I’ve understood the fleeting nature of recognition and the importance of striving to share my narrative.
In today’s digital age, we can immortalize our stories, voices, and impacts through various platforms that can outlive our time here. Like the writings of past authors that continue to inspire long after they’ve left us, I, too, want to leave something meaningful behind. It’s not just about creating a legacy; it’s about affirming that our lives, with all their complexities, have a purpose and that there is order in what sometimes feels like chaos.
Ultimately, by sharing our stories, we can create a sense of order amid the chaos and find comfort in knowing our lives are part of something much more significant. We contribute not only to our immediate communities but also to the broader, enduring story of humanity. As I continue this path, I want to inspire others to find their voices, tell their stories, and ensure we all feel remembered and valued in this vast world.
Reflecting on feelings of insignificance, I wrote a poem to share.
The Fear of Insignificance
Feeling insignificant on this earth, In '73, my birth added to a bustling berth. From 3.9 billion souls sharing our space, To over 8.1 billion, now in 2025, a wild, mad race. In years counted fifty-two where I dwell, With numbers swelling, an unprecedented swell. Looking through time, where do I fit? 76.4% of the world is younger as I sit. Media whispers, young voices, they tout, As I ponder my voice, shrinking, no doubt. Reflecting, sitting with thoughts that remain, The insignificance pricks alongside the pain. Discouragement rises from a scared heart, Rejected, insecure, and anxious, they all play a part. Weakness and folly, embarrassment too, All draped under fear's guidepost, so true. "What part of me feels scared?" I ask, "Why trembles this part at its lonely task?" Life’s complexity, trauma, life’s story untold, To ask, "Why?" in the depths, searching for gold. Significance whispers on rational wings, In daily exchanges, through tangible things. Yet, the existential, does it have a clout? Beyond fleeting moments, what is it about? When I'm gone, a vagrant shadow on time, Will it matter that I sought to climb? To experience, struggle, learn, and be, Or fade with history's unremembered sea. A hundred years hence, a distant memory, Adrift among others in life's grand inventory. Like genealogy's unknown tree, roots untold, Names on a page, mere echoes, growing cold. And in this, how shall I stand today? To not feel irrelevant or fade away. A mission over decades, a longing to strive, Online presence, a voice kept alive. Substack written, lessons learned, A yearning flame quietly burned. Yet, unyielded dreams asking me why, Why do desires for significance fly? To etch my tale in the sands of the vast, A hope to touch more than my immediate past. To cause a ripple that sends out its crest, Bringing meaning that feels endlessly blessed. To voice in digital traces, scribes, and songs, Leaving footprints where stories belong. Like authors whose works outlive their stay, Yet whispers of legacy never decay. In realms eternal, where memory holds, Longing for significance, it quietly unfolds. Creating order that brings peace profound, In a universe otherwise ruthless and unbound. Against randomness, to grapple with fate, Striving for meaning and a joyful state. In words, tales, and life’s legacy, It's order, safety, and deep memory.
Reflecting on Your Life Journey
Reflecting on the journey through life, especially when faced with feelings of insignificance, can be a profound challenge. Yet, within this struggle lies an excellent opportunity to explore the deep questions that touch the very essence of our existence. As you sit with your thoughts and emotions, embrace the invitation to consider these reflective questions:
How can I redefine significance in my life beyond external recognition or accomplishments?
How do I honor my personal experiences and the stories that have shaped me, regardless of their global impact?
What legacy or message do I wish to leave behind, and how can I start building it today in small, meaningful ways?
How can I connect with communities or causes that resonate with my values and offer a sense of belonging in moments of self-doubt or fear?
How does my perception of time influence my feelings of significance or insignificance, and can shifting this perception alter my experience of the present?
Where can I find beauty and purpose in the everyday moments and interactions that might otherwise seem mundane or fleeting?
How can I embrace and accept the transient nature of life, seeing it as an opportunity to live more fully rather than as a source of fear?
What unique gifts or perspectives can I share that holds the potential to light a path for others, even in the simplest of ways?
How do I cultivate a sense of gratitude and presence for the connections and experiences that truly matter in my life?
Ultimately, how do I reconcile the desire for order and meaning in the universe with the acceptance that some aspects of life may remain unknown or unpredictable?
These questions can help you better understand what it means to live a life filled with purpose and connection, even in times of uncertainty. They encourage self-reflection and the exploration of personal truths that can lead to clarity and peace.
According to https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/world-population-by-year/, in 1973, the world population was at 3,920,805,042. Today, in January 2025, the world population estimate is at 8,161,972,572. The percent change over time is a 108.2% increase in 52 years. For me, this is quite incredible and scary at the same time.
This statistic is based on https://population.io/, which states that over 6.2 billion people out of 8.1 billion people on the planet are younger than I am.