Thank you for sharing your story! I was just recently thinking about the same issue, as some people insist trauma can be separated from innate neurodivergence, but I don't think that's the case because nature is shaped by nurture (epigenetics is a popular term today). Also, not everyone who went through traumatic experiences would qualify for a neurodivergent diagnosis, which shows neurodivergent people might have different sensibilities to begin with. And I think our diagnostic criteria and even treatment options also don't allow for a meaningful distinction between innate and "social" causes of a mental illness.
Thank you for connecting, I think we have a lot of similar threads in our stories. Sending you and your family lots of love!
Thank you, Ana. I'm so glad that I discovered your Substack and that we were able to connect. I agree with your insights. Epigenetics is a huge contributor to how our genes (biology) express. And, at the same time, the environmental/societal impacts and affects on us are so varied depending on many factors including our biology (genes). My hope is that with many more of us "lost generation" AuDHD folks discovering our true identity (and sharing our stories) along with more research being conducted with our involvement and increased conversations and discussions taking place in public places (like here), we all can have a richer understanding of neurodiversity and ourselves that can lead to less suffering and hate and more compassion, love and kindness. All the best to you and your family too! I look forward to both reading more of your contributions and sharing more of mine.
Thank you, Heather. I'm so glad you discovered my writing and reconnected here.
We had some fun in our small class. As you may recall, I moved to the area and started at SHS in 7th grade. Moving from the NY/NJ area to the Midwest was a big culture shock. The 7th and 8th grades were the first time I developed real friendships I hadn't had before this move. But I was also heavily masking and pretending to be someone I wasn't. I never wanted anyone to know the "real" me. I was always "walking on eggshells" and making sure nobody got too close to me. I thought I was "broken," and if people knew me, they would hurt and abandon me--just like most other people in my life at that time. I didn't want to get hurt again.
So, that time in 7th and 8th grades was bittersweet for me. As I was deeply traumatized and felt utterly alone and different from everyone else around me (and didn't have the knowledge or language to express how I was feeling and what I was experiencing), I never truly allowed myself to enjoy being with friends and hanging out. For that reason, I came across as "very serious" or a "young adult," as you wrote. That was all a facade--I guarded to protect myself. Even our teachers teased me for being so "anal retentive" and told me that I should "loosen up." But I couldn't. The stakes were too high, and I just wanted to survive.
Yet, some of the best people I met as a young teen were our friends from SHS. You were always a good friend at SHS and WC, and I greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing your story! I was just recently thinking about the same issue, as some people insist trauma can be separated from innate neurodivergence, but I don't think that's the case because nature is shaped by nurture (epigenetics is a popular term today). Also, not everyone who went through traumatic experiences would qualify for a neurodivergent diagnosis, which shows neurodivergent people might have different sensibilities to begin with. And I think our diagnostic criteria and even treatment options also don't allow for a meaningful distinction between innate and "social" causes of a mental illness.
Thank you for connecting, I think we have a lot of similar threads in our stories. Sending you and your family lots of love!
Thank you, Ana. I'm so glad that I discovered your Substack and that we were able to connect. I agree with your insights. Epigenetics is a huge contributor to how our genes (biology) express. And, at the same time, the environmental/societal impacts and affects on us are so varied depending on many factors including our biology (genes). My hope is that with many more of us "lost generation" AuDHD folks discovering our true identity (and sharing our stories) along with more research being conducted with our involvement and increased conversations and discussions taking place in public places (like here), we all can have a richer understanding of neurodiversity and ourselves that can lead to less suffering and hate and more compassion, love and kindness. All the best to you and your family too! I look forward to both reading more of your contributions and sharing more of mine.
Thank you, Heather. I'm so glad you discovered my writing and reconnected here.
We had some fun in our small class. As you may recall, I moved to the area and started at SHS in 7th grade. Moving from the NY/NJ area to the Midwest was a big culture shock. The 7th and 8th grades were the first time I developed real friendships I hadn't had before this move. But I was also heavily masking and pretending to be someone I wasn't. I never wanted anyone to know the "real" me. I was always "walking on eggshells" and making sure nobody got too close to me. I thought I was "broken," and if people knew me, they would hurt and abandon me--just like most other people in my life at that time. I didn't want to get hurt again.
So, that time in 7th and 8th grades was bittersweet for me. As I was deeply traumatized and felt utterly alone and different from everyone else around me (and didn't have the knowledge or language to express how I was feeling and what I was experiencing), I never truly allowed myself to enjoy being with friends and hanging out. For that reason, I came across as "very serious" or a "young adult," as you wrote. That was all a facade--I guarded to protect myself. Even our teachers teased me for being so "anal retentive" and told me that I should "loosen up." But I couldn't. The stakes were too high, and I just wanted to survive.
Yet, some of the best people I met as a young teen were our friends from SHS. You were always a good friend at SHS and WC, and I greatly appreciate it.