Transitions and Choices
Finding Our Place & Pursuing Self-Healing
I’ve been searching for healing, understanding, and meaning in life for almost thirty years, starting as a teenager. This journey has taken me through psychology, theology, spirituality, and integrative and holistic health practices. As a result, I have earned a bachelor’s degree, three master’s degrees, a doctorate, and numerous professional certifications. In hindsight, my pursuit of self-healing has been the driving force behind all my academic, professional, and personal interests.
My academic journey began in university when I switched from natural sciences to psychology. A professor inspired me and sparked my fascination with the human mind. This decision marked the beginning of my path toward self-discovery and healing. While studying psychology, I aimed to understand human behavior and mental health without initially recognizing the depth of my emotional wounds or the need for personal work. You can read more about my journey here, here, here, and here.
Reflecting on this significant period, I’ve realized a stark contrast between different aspects of my life. Imagine this: I was deeply engrossed in studying psychology, eager to explore the intricacies of the human mind and behavior. I envisioned a future where I could apply this knowledge professionally. Ironically, however, I kept my personal life—my past, struggles, and internal turmoil—in a completely separate compartment.
Despite my deep dive into psychology, in my twenties, I had yet to connect what I studied and practiced professionally with personal healing. It was as if I had compartmentalized my life to such an extent that I failed to see how intertwined they were. My psychology study laid the groundwork for a deeper understanding of my experiences. Yet, I needed help in the form of a metaphorical “swift kick” to see the big picture I received later in life.
With graduation about a year away, uncertainty about my future as a clinical psychologist (which I explained away as being deeply introverted and socially awkward) led me to have second thoughts about pursuing counseling as my future career. As a result, after graduating college, I focused on further studying theology, not psychology, in graduate school. I sought meaning and understanding of myself and life’s more profound questions. However, as I discovered in studying psychology, I soon realized that this path also required practical application and engagement with others, highlighting my ongoing struggle with social connection, fitting into neurotypical society, and the practical aspects of sensory overload—not to mention my complex history with religion.
At the time, I didn’t have the language or understanding of neurodivergence to filter my experiences. Instead, I believed I was not suited for a career in either psychology or theology and decided to pursue a different avenue altogether. This feeling of social ineptness and decades of masking (and pretending to be someone else) led to low self-esteem and self-worth.
I kept acquiring different degrees to escape the feelings of inadequacy, believing I needed more training and education to prove my worth. Yet, ironically, the more education I acquired, the more inadequate I felt. Over the years, I had earned all of this advanced training, including a doctorate, and I still felt like a “loser”—like I didn’t “get it” and didn’t fit in anywhere. Despite my education, I struggled with socializing, connecting with others, and feeling misunderstood and misperceived.
So, I decided to change course. I shifted my career focus to massage therapy to acquire practical skills for employment. This choice unknowingly aligned closely with my ongoing quest for self-discovery and self-healing. While completing my degree in theological studies, I wrote my master’s thesis on integrating holistic health, therapeutic touch, and theology.
I discovered the interconnection between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being through bodywork and somatic healing practices. Initially, I viewed massage therapy and bodywork as a temporary stopgap on my way to a “real” career. I never thought I’d end up making a career out of them.
Yet, something about that work inspired me and put me at ease. It could be that I was exceptionally skilled in treating chronic pain and musculoskeletal conditions or that the physical nature of massage therapy and bodywork helped me regulate my sensory system. The nature of this work involved engaging in physical activity, “heavy work,” and receiving proprioceptive input, which were calming activities and helped regulate my nervous system. Additionally, traditional bodywork practices’ quiet, non-verbal nature allowed me to focus on the work without much social interaction. It was likely a combination of all these reasons and more.
Eventually, my experience in bodywork led me to pursue a career in holistic and integrative health, which, in turn, sparked my interest in clinical aromatherapy, craniosacral therapy, traditional herbology, acupuncture, nutrition, yoga, and functional medicine. I have now been in clinical practice for over 25 years.
After stepping into the field of holistic health in my late twenties, it took another two decades and many years of working through somatic bodywork, counseling, hypnotherapy, parts work, trauma work, EMDR, facing my mortality with a cancer diagnosis, evaluating my priorities, and having an incredibly supportive spouse who consistently called me out on my excuses and helped me to confront myself. All of this ultimately led to both my ADHD and autism diagnoses.
When I received my diagnosis, it was the beginning of my true healing journey. It confirmed that I’m not stupid, but rather lovable, acceptable, and have a different brain. Until I began to address my shame, forgive myself and others, and practice self-care, self-compassion, and self-love, I hadn’t truly integrated my book “Smarts” with the practical tools I learned and practiced with others for personal healing. In other words, I didn’t focus on caring for myself until I began loving myself. And I’m still learning to love and care for myself every day more fully.
Now, eighteen months after my diagnosis and confirmation of neurodivergence, I view my journey as one towards personal healing and empowerment. Ultimately, my unconscious drive to change academic study or take a new professional path in my twenties and thirties was a desire to understand and heal myself. My explorations in integrative and complementary medicine were extensions of this quest, aiming to find healing for myself while offering it to others. This journey of self-discovery and healing showcases the complex paths we all navigate in finding our place in this world and pursuing personal understanding, life meaning, and self-acceptance.
In my future posts, I intend to incorporate information from my over 25 years of experience in integrative health as part of self-care and healing. I hope to offer tools and insights for others to love themselves more (or, for the first time, as I did) and prioritize self-care.
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About David Rich Sol:
As a child, I wished to exchange my brain for someone else’s. Growing up, I felt misunderstood and lonely. If only I had received my confirmation of neurodivergence when I was a child, I could have avoided some trauma and emotional pain.
Now, as a late-discovered (and diagnosed) Autistic ADHDer, everything is finally making more sense, and I’m rediscovering and loving myself. I spent many years figuring out “what’s wrong with me,” only to discover nothing was “wrong with me.” I’m just not neurotypical (that is, I’m neurodivergent). Not better, not worse—just different.
My intent with Courage To Love Yourself is to rewrite and share my story and insights and help others better understand and accept themselves. I hope you learn to love and accept yourself to live a healthy, happy, and joy-filled life.
Check out my website: https://couragetoloveyourself.com.